FrankPhoto4Kay and I celebrated our 50th Anniversary this year! It seems impossible to have been married for half a century to such a wonderful and talented woman, but it happened by the grace of God.

Since we both have been spending almost all of our uncommitted time to writing novels, it got me wondering about how important writing has been to our marriage. The answer is VERY! Here’s how.

WRITING ABOUT EACH OTHER.  Soon after we got engaged, I wrote a poem for Kay entitled The Passion of the Nero Stallion. About fifteen or twenty years ago, I had a beautiful dream about her and wrote my remembrance of it in The Lady and the Tower. I also wrote a fictional—but with real elements— novelette about Kay in college called In Praise of Mrs. White (DiBianca means “of white”). I’m just now submitting my first novel, The Love Coach, for publication. The lead characters, Lana Madison and Dan Butler, were somewhat modeled after the two of us.

Kay tells me she also models some of her ideas and characters on things we have discussed and my personal characteristics. In that case I’m not sure why acquisition editors aren’t throwing her stuff out the window! In fact, her first novel, The Watch on the Fencepost, has sold over 6,500 books in less than two years! It also won a medal in The Illumination Awards and received recognition as a semi-finalist in the ACFW Genesis Contest.

HELPING EACH OTHER IN OUR NEW WRITING “CAREERS.”  We help each other continually with our manuscripts and in many other ways. Here are some of them.

Plot discussions.  Making the story compelling is the most important part of writing fiction. We constantly discuss aspects of each other’s drafts. Our spouse’s fingerprints are all over our final work and that much better for it.

Pre-editing and reviewing. We pre-edit, i.e., read, correct, and critique, every version and sub-version—Wow, that’s funny—of each other’s manuscripts before submitting them to our editors, who are most talented.

Collateral aspects of writing. We go together to writing conferences, writers group meetings, book signings, and other writing-related functions, assisting one another as needed. We help each other to develop our websites, blogs, marketing, ads, and other means of book promotion. Kay started first and is a computer scientist as well, so she’s helping me more than I her at this point. Kay might disagree.

Cross-pollination. We are continually passing on to each other new information we come across about writing conferences, contests, books, articles, etc.

This should give you an idea about how much it helps to have a spouse or other relative or friend with whom you can partner in your writing endeavors. Good Luck!

Thank You, Kay, and